Drama in Social Media

Several years ago I discovered the author of Queen Bees and Wannabees, Rosalind Wiseman and what a treasure I found! The timing was perfect, since my daughter was entering high school, and the information is always valuable! Understanding the dynamics of any community, whether it’s high school, church, a place of business, or the blogosphere, can help us better understand what’s going on. When we equip ourselves with solid information that can help us see things from a better perspective, we’re less likely to get sucked into the drama and be emotionally bankrupt from whatever ordeal is going on.

Here are a few things to help with bloggy drama:

1. It’s not always about you. When someone posts about factual information that affects everyone at any given point in time, it doesn’t mean it’s about you. If you come across a post that you think is directed right at you, step back and think it over. Have you done the things described in the blog post? If you have, then perhaps an apology is in order.

2. Own up: No matter what was said, whether it’s factual, kind, or not, if you have wronged someone or a group, do the right thing and own up. Owning up lets everyone off the defense and allows peace and restoration to take place.

3. Don’t manipulate: Resist the urge to defend yourself with blame shifting, accusations, or pity parties. This is a tactic called, ‘causing division’. Causing division is when people start naming names, creating themselves into a victim, and trying to demonize others to form themselves a barrier of allies that creates a false sense of protection.

4. Don’t get caught up: It’s easy to get inadvertently caught up in a sticky web of deceit if we decide to listen to ‘dirty details’ about others. When you find yourself hearing accusations about others, step back and give yourself time to think clearly. Has the person tried to get you to side with them over another? Are they discrediting the person? Or have they come to you for wise advice about a situation? Are they willing to enter into a three-way conversation or a group for that matter, to discuss the dilemma? Do they want to reconcile? If they aren’t willing to come out in a group setting to settle the matter, chances are you have been pulled into something that would not be good for you.

5. Decide to walk away: There are times to simply walk away and there are times to stand firm, but do so wisely. If your blog business is in danger due to libel, talk to an attorney. There’s always going to be people who trash talk you or your blog, especially if you take a firm stand on some issues that might be viewed as hot topics to those who have opposing opinions. However, when someone makes a bold statement to discredit you, your company, or your family that would cause legal damages, seek legal help to get a Cease and Desist letter sent. If they continue after that, pursue further action. Even if you have to invest extra funds into another step of legal protection, you are setting a precedence in the blogosphere that you mean business.

I would hope that anyone who receives two legal warnings to stop, would do so. After that it could become public knowledge that they have pushed bloggers or companies that far and their own reputation will be ruined.

One last thing, blogging about blogger ethics, sharing examples of what has happens to millions of bloggers everyday, and equipping people with information to help protect themselves is not wrong. In fact, I am thankful to the many other articles that have been written over the year on this exact topic.